My son, my friend

Moving to a new city and not speaking the language can seem like a daunting way to undertake a new beginning. For this Amsterdam Mama, learning the language and becoming pregnant opened up a new perspective on life in Amsterdam.

http://www.amsterdam-mamas.nl/stories/this-month/my-son-my-friend

As romantic as we may think of or imagine newly married life, it is not free from challenges. Challenges of adjustment, compromise and making a new start in general. When I got married I was met with the challenge of not only adjusting with a new person, but also with a totally new lifestyle in another part of the world. I had no friends there, and I felt that no one could truly understand how I felt.

Later, when I did manage to create a small life of my own there, a job, some friends with whom I would occasionally meet up or just keep in touch, I found myself saying goodbye to this country as well and landing in Amsterdam.

I never imagined living in a country where I didn’t even speak the language. For my first week here with zero knowledge of Dutch I felt deaf, dumb and blind. Learning the language was an essential for me. I always wanted to learn a new language anyways and this was the perfect scenario.

Things started to become easier as I joined my language school. I was meeting people regularly, and also learning and exploring new things every day. Amsterdam is beautiful and I enjoyed walking through this new city.

Still, my only friend was my solitude, until one day when I discovered there was a life growing inside me. From that day onwards I stopped feeling alone. Even when I walked alone I felt my baby walking with me. He was with me all the time, even while I slept. I looked forward to my baby being born. I remember once in an upset mood I was walking in a beautiful Amsterdam park when the thought of my baby made me smile. At that time I had thought that soon I will have a companion to share these walks with, a friend to talk to.

Now, with my toddler, I see my dreams coming true. We talk, we play, we go out and share every moment of our lives together. I enjoy going to cafes with him, put him in a high chair and we eat together, mother and son. We go to the park together, whether he is in his buggy or on foot, he is still with me.

Having a baby also magically increased my social circle. It introduced me to the wonderful community of Amsterdam Mamas, wherever everyone looks out for each other like a devoted family member.

Also after having this baby I felt better connected with my husband. My sparkling clean house feels like a messy home now and I love the feeling of graduating from a couple to a family.

I thank my God every day for blessing me with this baby, who has taken away my depression and made me complete. He adores me so much at this stage and sticks to me like a shadow, but I know it is not going to be like this forever. As he grows he will need his space. Still, I hope that we share a friendly and beautiful relationship forever. I imagine my son being my best friend in times to come and that is the best feeling ever.

Springy spring

My favourite time of the year is finally here. Its spring in Amsterdam! Lovely sunny days with a refreshing breeze provide a perfect time for a stroll or picnic in the parks.
I have always taken full advantage of the little sun we get in this country. This year too I hope to take Mr Baby out everyday to enjoy the lovely Amsterdam parks.
It is these months when Amsterdam's beauty is at its peak. Lush green trees, soft fresh grass, even the ducks in the many canals of the city look more cheerful in this weather.
We deserve this long awaited spring. May it have a long life!

pic by Samir Malik

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Driving is hard :(

My driving lesson today didn't go well at all. One would think that after so many lessons I should be able to drive perfectly by now. However, today's lesson was nothing near perfection. I got so disheartened that at the end of the lesson I was really holding back my tears, which were let out once my instructor couldn't see me anymore.
Back home S consoled me. "You are still learning, its okay to make mistakes" he said. Thanks S for all your support!
Later when I looked over my lesson with a cool mind I realized that yes, I did make some mistakes, but there were points where I did the right thing. Among my mistakes the biggest was a failed attempt of parallel parking and another failed attempt of reverse parking. However, parking is the hardest thing ever, so I should not worry about it that much. Other mistakes were a result of stress and confusion.
My instructor is leading me towards independent driving now, but I still have my ears open for his guidance, and when the guidance is not coming then panic mode is switched on.
My exam is booked for next month. I am not ready, but maybe with 6 or 7 more lessons I will be ready. However, the fact that each lesson is a dent in S's pocket is not helping my nerves. On top of that if I fail the test then the cost of another test alone is the price of 6 lessons.
I know that my focus should not be on money right now. It should be on learning and getting the licence and do this all with a positive attitude. Hopefully, my next lesson would not be such a disaster and I will have a nice post to write.
Till then, happy walking!

The dreaded theory test

Can you believe it that I took my first driving lesson in January and its May now. Its been four months since I am learning to drive, but honestly its just one hour per week, and sometimes one hour in two weeks. Its definitely not enough. Secondly, since I hadn't cleared my theory exam my driving instructor couldn't move forward and book my practical exam.
Well the theory exam turned out to be much more difficult than my expectations. I have done a theory test in England before, which I passed quite easily with a little bit of study. For the Dutch theory test I studied as if I was back doing my O Levels. I worked so hard, but, I failed. I wasn't even surprised because I didn't have much hope. Almost everyone I know failed on their first attempt. And then I met a girl who had failed for the third time.
That made me decide that I am not going to try my luck again. I decided to go for a one-day course with guaranteed success rates. I booked this course, where I was one of six other females eager to pass their theory exam.
By the end of the whole day course I was still not satisfied. They gave us a trial exam at the end of the day which almost all of us failed and that didn't really help in building up our confidence. Back home I had two more days till the test. Those two days I practiced every possible question available over and over again until they were stuck in my head.
Well luckily I did pass, only at margin. We are allowed 5 mistakes out of 40 and that's exactly how many I had. I dread to think that if I had just one more mistake I would have failed again and been completely devastated.
Thankfully, God didn't test my patience to that extent.
Now I have my driving theory in hand. I wanted to get my practical exam as soon as possible, but my driving school says that I would have to wait atleast a month till I find an available exam date.
O dear license why do you keep running away from me!

New hairstyle

Since a long time I have been wanting to get a new hairstyle. I researched a lot of hairdressers all over Amsterdam. Time and money constraints kept hindering me from actually trying out any of these salons.

I shortlisted two salons, which were cheap and hopefully good. One was the kappersacademie and the other graduates. In both these salons you basically get a haircut by a student or a new graduate, and hence the price is low.

However, this last Saturday I vowed to make time for myself and go for a haircut. By the time I got free from my driving lesson, kappersacademie was already closed. Graduates was too busy and offered me an appointment on some other day instead. I left thinking that no matter what I am not going home without a haircut today.
I decided I will just go to Cosmo. I have been there before and I didn't hate it. Didn't love it either. Price is reasonable according to Dutch standards. I went inside only to be met by a half asleep guy murmuring that they don't have time today. Sad and dejected, I decided to walk to the bus station. There was still half n hour for the bus to come so I decided to walk home. On my way I found a salon Hizihair with a big board outside saying 'welkom zonder afspraak' meaning Welcome without appointment. I glanced inside, it was empty. I stepped inside and a very nice lady with beautiful hair greeted me. I asked her if she had time for a haircut right now and she agreed. I had looked at their pricelist outside so I decided to sit hair and have a haircut. 

I started telling the stylist that I am looking for a new, fresh look. She asked me questions about my preferences which i didn't have any answer to. I was just looking for advice basically. So she took charge and noticed that the problem was my front hair. After giving birth to Mr Baby I had massive hair loss and thus I have lots of baby hair around my forehead now which are not easy to mane. She suggesting giving me a 'pony' (dutch for fringe). I have never had a fringe before, but I liked the idea. It would be a big change and that's what I wanted. I asked her for colour suggestions and she said that these days the fashion is to dye the ends of your hair only. I remembered seeing this on the kappersacademie website as well and instantly agreed to it. She asked me which colour I would want my ends to be and after looking at the model on the magazine in front of me i said red. 

Around an hour and a half later I saw in the mirror a lady with a fringe and red ends. I didn't recognize myself anymore. It was a bit of a shocker but it was a change and that's what I wanted. I decided I am not going to question my impulsiveness. 

The change was welcomed by family and friends and most of all by me. I felt good. Even though the red ends lasted only three weeks and the fringe requires maintenance I still make it an effort which gives good results. 

Childrens' story competition

Around two months back I participated in a story competition for children aged 1 to 3. The theme of the competition was 'New gender roles in the multicultural society'.
It was organised by Inclusive Works and its partners included British Council, Clavis Books, and FEBE support.
This week they announced their result in a small ceremony at Utrecht. All participating writers were invited. The number was around 300, but the attendees were a little less than 100 according to my estimation.
The competition was open to everyone. The story could be written in any language, as long as its English translation was sent along. This automatically made me assume that there would be a lot of contributions in different languages, and the ceremony would be English based to cater to the international audience.
However, my expectations turned out to be wrong as I found myself in a very Dutch environment. Both the winning stories were (one for the category of 1-3 years old, and the other for 4-6 years old) written by Dutch women, who were present at the ceremony.
I think that even though the project aimed at promoting multiculturalism, the Dutch jury did after all have a Dutch taste.
However, it was a nice purposeful effort, which I thoroughly enjoyed participating in and I hope these and other organisations continue with their endeavours.
http://www.inclusiveworks.eu/en-gb/ourexpertise/projects/childrensstories.aspx#.UUlyuRzFWVk

Baby at the window

My bedroom window, which started off as my best friend in the house has turned into my son's favourite spot as well. He stands there for ages looking out at all the passing by cars.
Thanks to the window his craze for outdoors is sort of fulfilled while staying indoors in this awful weather.
We are thinking of moving houses, but I love this area where we live. Wherever we go from here, I know that among other things I am going to miss my bedroom window a lot, and so is Mr Baby.

View from the window