Mr Baby moves out

A lot of my past posts have not been about Mr Baby. I guess in a way that is a good thing, as it shows I do actually have a life of my own, but this should in no way mean that I have been neglecting Mr Baby (who isn't a baby anymore, but let's just call him that because I am used to it and because I love it).
He isn't one who can be neglected that easily. He keeps me on my toes all day long. Makes a lot of mess, talks a lot, his three favourite words - mama, duck, dog. He tells long stories about the duck and the dog, from which we can only understand these two words.
His favourite phrase these days is 'O nooo'. Deliberately throwing his toys in difficult places and then exclaiming O nooo and running to me to tell me what he has done and how I have to solve the problem.
I love my little munchkin so much that I really do think I have forgotten the rest of the world for him.
However, I am not being too clingy, and have thus successfully and hopefully finally removed him from my bed for good. He has been in and out of our bed since he was born, but this time, I am determined not to take him back.
While I am not opposed to the idea of co-sleeping I cannot handle anymore kicks in the face in the middle of the night. Also I need my arms free, not tucked under his head, as he likes it. So since a week now I am enjoying my free space in my bed.
On that note I would end today's note. Here's to happy sleeping!

CBR complaint response

Updating - my special needs test is on 31st of July; more than a month after my driving exam, and according to the CBR complaint department, they pushed me up on the waiting list! I wonder how many months would I have had to wait if they hadn't bestowed this favour upon me.
The test doesn't cost anything, but I have to hire the car from my driving school, which means I pay for an hours lesson - 46 euros.
Sigh.
Let's see what happens on the morning of 31st of July. 

Complaint to CBR

My well wishers suggested I complaint to the CBR on the examiner's remarks on my height at the very start of my exam, which made me nervous and broke my confidence, and above all made me feel insulted.
Read here http://myamsterdamlogue.blogspot.nl/2013/07/too-short-to-drive.html
I did write a complaint letter, which was duly responded by a phone call within two days. The woman on the other line tried to explain the examiner's actions by saying that in the past they have witnessed breaking problems with people shorter than 160m.
My response to that was, that this point should have been made aware to me before the actual exam. On the date of your driving exam you do not want to hear or experience anything out of the ordinary, which I did, and unfortunately it ruined it for me, and I drove worse than I normally do.
The lady on the phone listened intently to my complain for which I am thankful, but couldn't offer much in return to my complaint. She is supposed to get back to me soon to tell me when my special needs medical test will take place.
I will surely write here about the test and its outcome. So watch this space!

Too short to drive?

Today was the big day of the big exam. A test to how well have I learned to drive in the last five months and 25 lessons. Well the answer was not good enough.
I failed the test, I know my mistakes, the same mistakes that I was making in my lessons. The point which made the examiner's decision very easy was when I started to change a lane without looking properly while a car was coming form behind. A major blunder I know, which I made because I got distracted by my gears. That's why I have always been a fan of automatic cars, because I just hate changing gears.
Another sad part was that even though my parking skills are very good by now, when the examiner told me to find a spot to park I kind of panicked. I was taking too long to find a spot and when I did I couldn't park there properly.
I know that I can pass the exam if I try again. I know I need more practice. My instructor thinks I need to focus more, I don't know how I can focus more than I already do.
However, this was all normal and expected.
Now let me come to the unexpected and strange part of the exam.
The examiner was not an old man with glasses like I expected, it was a young woman. The first comment she made to me while I sat in the car was on my height. I told her that I have no problem driving the car and car reach the clutch and the break easily after adjusting my seat.

However, the examiner was not satisfied and took me to a special test to see if I can break hard enough to enable the ABS. She was again not satisfied at how I performed. I have never been taught to break hard and obviously was a bit hesitant in breaking with full power. However, the examiner looked at me and said “Is this all the power you have?”

After the exam she told me that she is putting me up for a special medical needs test because of my short height. My examiner politely suggested that I can just use an extra cushion on the driving seat, but obviously the examiner had other plans for me. 
I left the exam center in silence and shock. My instructor was surprised. He said he was quite curious to know what kind of a medical test I am going to have.
Can the CBR actually tell me that I am too short to drive or only able to drive certain kind of small cars. I wonder. And if they say I am fit to drive any car, then why the need to do this test in the first place?
I don't know whether to laugh on this matter or cry or scream. But again I am regretting my decision to try to get a driving license here in the Netherlands. One part of me wants to quit now, but the other part says that I have come too close to quit now. 
Let's wait and see.

I repeat - driving is hard

My driving test is in two days. I have been taking lessons since five months. Tomorrow, my last lesson before my first test would be my 25th.
Am I confident that I would pass? No!
Today's lesson was awful. Again a lesson that ended in tears. I understand that my instructor is being tough with me. He is preparing me for the worst, but that just makes me realize that I am not good enough for the test.
I always imagined that my final lessons before my test would be flawless. If today's lesson was my test I would have failed it in the first five minutes.
I want to be hopeful for my test, but I am getting the same feeling that I got before my first theory test - that I failed.
I would still try my best and see how it goes.
One thing is for sure - I picked the worse country to try to get a driving license.
Anyone planning to come to Netherlands - please have an international license before coming here, make sure they accept it, and if not invest in a good bakfiets (cycle with a back attachment) instead of wasting your time and money trying to get a driving license. 

My son, my friend

Moving to a new city and not speaking the language can seem like a daunting way to undertake a new beginning. For this Amsterdam Mama, learning the language and becoming pregnant opened up a new perspective on life in Amsterdam.

http://www.amsterdam-mamas.nl/stories/this-month/my-son-my-friend

As romantic as we may think of or imagine newly married life, it is not free from challenges. Challenges of adjustment, compromise and making a new start in general. When I got married I was met with the challenge of not only adjusting with a new person, but also with a totally new lifestyle in another part of the world. I had no friends there, and I felt that no one could truly understand how I felt.

Later, when I did manage to create a small life of my own there, a job, some friends with whom I would occasionally meet up or just keep in touch, I found myself saying goodbye to this country as well and landing in Amsterdam.

I never imagined living in a country where I didn’t even speak the language. For my first week here with zero knowledge of Dutch I felt deaf, dumb and blind. Learning the language was an essential for me. I always wanted to learn a new language anyways and this was the perfect scenario.

Things started to become easier as I joined my language school. I was meeting people regularly, and also learning and exploring new things every day. Amsterdam is beautiful and I enjoyed walking through this new city.

Still, my only friend was my solitude, until one day when I discovered there was a life growing inside me. From that day onwards I stopped feeling alone. Even when I walked alone I felt my baby walking with me. He was with me all the time, even while I slept. I looked forward to my baby being born. I remember once in an upset mood I was walking in a beautiful Amsterdam park when the thought of my baby made me smile. At that time I had thought that soon I will have a companion to share these walks with, a friend to talk to.

Now, with my toddler, I see my dreams coming true. We talk, we play, we go out and share every moment of our lives together. I enjoy going to cafes with him, put him in a high chair and we eat together, mother and son. We go to the park together, whether he is in his buggy or on foot, he is still with me.

Having a baby also magically increased my social circle. It introduced me to the wonderful community of Amsterdam Mamas, wherever everyone looks out for each other like a devoted family member.

Also after having this baby I felt better connected with my husband. My sparkling clean house feels like a messy home now and I love the feeling of graduating from a couple to a family.

I thank my God every day for blessing me with this baby, who has taken away my depression and made me complete. He adores me so much at this stage and sticks to me like a shadow, but I know it is not going to be like this forever. As he grows he will need his space. Still, I hope that we share a friendly and beautiful relationship forever. I imagine my son being my best friend in times to come and that is the best feeling ever.

Springy spring

My favourite time of the year is finally here. Its spring in Amsterdam! Lovely sunny days with a refreshing breeze provide a perfect time for a stroll or picnic in the parks.
I have always taken full advantage of the little sun we get in this country. This year too I hope to take Mr Baby out everyday to enjoy the lovely Amsterdam parks.
It is these months when Amsterdam's beauty is at its peak. Lush green trees, soft fresh grass, even the ducks in the many canals of the city look more cheerful in this weather.
We deserve this long awaited spring. May it have a long life!

pic by Samir Malik

Add caption