Mr Baby goes to voorschool

I knew this day would come soon, but didn't expect the feelings that I experienced , once my little baby became a big boy and started his voorschool.
He is coming home with new Dutch words and sentences everyday and loves going to school. Read here about my feelings on the first day of his voorschool:

http://www.amsterdam-mamas.nl/stories/parenting/school-age/adventures-in-parenting-first-day-of-voorschool

New house

One of the biggest news of the New Year is our move to a new house. Four years back when I came to Amsterdam, we had found a spacious apartment in a great location. Every guest who came to our flat praised it. We live in Osdorp, part of Nieuw West, Amsterdam. Tram 1 to Central Station and Bus 192 to Schipol depart from right outside our building. Basic Fit is on the ground floor of our building. Albert Heijn, Etos and good schools are all a five-minute walk away. The best part is that we live way high on the 9th floor and have a great view of the city from our windows. (Read previous blogpost The joys of living high up)
We have spent the best years in this apartment. This is the home where Mr Baby was born, thus, this home will always be special to me, just like Amsterdam itself.
But, it is time to move on. S has been wanting to buy a property since a long time now. I have always been hesitant and never really encouraged him, but everyone who we spoke to said, "Now is the time to buy". Many friends suggested to buy the apartment we are living at, but both S and I felt that a house with a backyard would be better for Mr Baby. He should have some space to play with his ball, ride his cycle and in the summer maybe even have his own little pool.
We have found a house we both like and we are going to move in soon. The boxes are packed, the addresses have been changed, and the mind is set to start a new life in a new place.
We are still going to be in the Nieuw West, this time going to Geuzenveld-Slotermeer. I had my reservations about the area, but after talking to some people in the neighbourhood, they were somewhat put to ease. The rest we shall find out for ourselves pretty soon. From Tram 1 our new best friend is going to be Tram 13, and from 192 we are going to change loyalties to bus 69.

Welcome 2015

I didn't even realise that its been more than a year since I have been absent from my blog. But 2014 was quite big for me. So hectic, that I was glad it was over, and my only hope for 2015 is, that may this year be much more peaceful for me and for the world in general.
At the beginning for 2014 I had resolved to have the first draft of my book ready. Forget the draft, I don't even a have a sentence for my book yet. The idea is still there, buried under the thousand other files and folders in my mind. If I could get a scan of my bran right now I am sure it would read 'System needs to be rebooted'.
Thus, I am not beginning 2015 with any big ambitions. In 2014 I started a lot of things, but unfortunately, nothing went past the starting phase. This year, if I have to resolve, I will try to clear the cache a bit. And maybe then, the brain might work faster and more efficiently.
Here's to a new year of new hopes!

Summer paddling pools

These days the best way to beat the summer heat and have fun is to go to one of the many paddling pools (kinderbadjes) across the city.
My favourite one these days is the one at Vondelpark, for no particular reason other than that I love Vondelpark and it is very easy for me to reach there by just a direct fifteen minute tram ride.

The first day I decided to take Mr Baby there was a hot morning when he had woken up in a very bad mood. Maybe the heat was troubling him too, so I packed a picnic blanket, a ball, some snacks and set off to the park. It was very calm and cool, only a few people around enjoying the morning soaking their feet in the cold water of the pool.
I directed Mr Baby towards the pool, but he was hesitant, so I held his hand and took him in the water, sat on the curb and let my feet soak in the pool.
Ahhh, heaven! The cold water was just what I needed to cool off my entire body. As Mr Baby saw his mom enjoying he also thought it was safe to enjoy. Slowly, he became more acquainted with the pool and started splashing and moving around. He played there for almost an hour, after which he was quite exhausted and happily sat in his buggy to make his return journey home.
Since that day I have already taken him to the pool three times, once with S, who also found the activity quite amusing.
Summers, we are glad you are here, and we are going to miss you.

New curtains

Last year I complained about how the thin curtains of my bedroom window made summer naps very difficult for me. Read here
http://myamsterdamlogue.blogspot.nl/2012/07/summer-naps.html#comment-form
This year I have been able to combat this problem with my brand new curtains that I love. They are purple - my favourite colour, and thick enough to block the sun from disrupting our sleep.
http://www.ikea.com/nl/nl/catalog/products/20206043/#/70206045

Ramadan 2013

The reason for being absent from my blog since the past month has been Ramadan. The whole schedule has been quite off, and I have often used my baby-free-writing-time to make up for my disturbed sleep.
I have always welcomed and enjoyed Ramadan and had vowed to write something about it at the start of the holy month, but this Ramadan was not very easy on me.
Unfortunately, Ramadan this year coincided with the very hot summers in Netherlands. As the temperatures soared and people enjoyed the sun to the fullest, we Muslims found ourselves at a loss of ideas on how to combat the summer heat while fasting.
Fasting hours were from 3am till 10pm. Surprisingly, to manage 19 hours without food is not as a big deal as it sounds, but to manage all this time without a sip of water can be hard in this heat.
The most challenging part for me in this Ramadan has been to combat my boredom. If I planned to go out, I was afraid of getting too tired or too thirsty. If I stayed home instead, Mr Baby and I both got exhausted by boredom.
For the first few days I managed to overcome my boredom by thinking about what to make for Iftar and then spending the last three hours of the day in the kitchen preparing some yummy delicacies.
However, after the 20th of Ramadan I felt my taste buds had died a bit. Other fasting colleagues have also agreed to this dilemma. We really don't feel like eating anything.
The coming years of Ramadan will be the same or harder. Tempers have risen, and patience has drowned taking along the essence of this month with it. It is not just about leaving food and drink, but about getting close to our spiritual self.
May God forgive us for our negligence and reward us for the little that we have done. Ameen.

Not too short to drive after all

My special height driving test finally took place this Wednesday. A middle-aged, sweet Dutch man with broken English came to greet me. He looked at me and said "You should be fine". I think based on the report of my examiner he was expecting someone much shorter. However, he still had to do his duty and so we proceeded to our car, me, my instructor and Mr Kok.
Firstly, Mr Kok, told me to adjust myself in the driver's seat and put a special gauge under the break. Then he told me to break with all the power I had, and if the pressure gauge went above 700, that meant that I can have a normal person's driving license. I easily scored 740, and heard my instructor in the background cheering for me.
Then we went for a little test drive. Mr Kok tested me on the emergency break, to see if I can enable the ABS or not. I was tested two times, and both times I did it without any problem. The instructor and Mr Kok exchanged the same look with each other, that this special test was really uncalled for.
I have a good mind to write to CBR again and asking them what good have they gotten out of this special test. It wasted my time, by now I could have had my second exam and maybe even had my license in my hand.
And more importantly, I suffered mentally for quite a few nights before allowing myself to forget how bad my first driving test went.
Well, here's wishing myself best of luck for my second attempt on getting the Dutch driving license. 

Mr Baby moves out

A lot of my past posts have not been about Mr Baby. I guess in a way that is a good thing, as it shows I do actually have a life of my own, but this should in no way mean that I have been neglecting Mr Baby (who isn't a baby anymore, but let's just call him that because I am used to it and because I love it).
He isn't one who can be neglected that easily. He keeps me on my toes all day long. Makes a lot of mess, talks a lot, his three favourite words - mama, duck, dog. He tells long stories about the duck and the dog, from which we can only understand these two words.
His favourite phrase these days is 'O nooo'. Deliberately throwing his toys in difficult places and then exclaiming O nooo and running to me to tell me what he has done and how I have to solve the problem.
I love my little munchkin so much that I really do think I have forgotten the rest of the world for him.
However, I am not being too clingy, and have thus successfully and hopefully finally removed him from my bed for good. He has been in and out of our bed since he was born, but this time, I am determined not to take him back.
While I am not opposed to the idea of co-sleeping I cannot handle anymore kicks in the face in the middle of the night. Also I need my arms free, not tucked under his head, as he likes it. So since a week now I am enjoying my free space in my bed.
On that note I would end today's note. Here's to happy sleeping!

CBR complaint response

Updating - my special needs test is on 31st of July; more than a month after my driving exam, and according to the CBR complaint department, they pushed me up on the waiting list! I wonder how many months would I have had to wait if they hadn't bestowed this favour upon me.
The test doesn't cost anything, but I have to hire the car from my driving school, which means I pay for an hours lesson - 46 euros.
Sigh.
Let's see what happens on the morning of 31st of July. 

Complaint to CBR

My well wishers suggested I complaint to the CBR on the examiner's remarks on my height at the very start of my exam, which made me nervous and broke my confidence, and above all made me feel insulted.
Read here http://myamsterdamlogue.blogspot.nl/2013/07/too-short-to-drive.html
I did write a complaint letter, which was duly responded by a phone call within two days. The woman on the other line tried to explain the examiner's actions by saying that in the past they have witnessed breaking problems with people shorter than 160m.
My response to that was, that this point should have been made aware to me before the actual exam. On the date of your driving exam you do not want to hear or experience anything out of the ordinary, which I did, and unfortunately it ruined it for me, and I drove worse than I normally do.
The lady on the phone listened intently to my complain for which I am thankful, but couldn't offer much in return to my complaint. She is supposed to get back to me soon to tell me when my special needs medical test will take place.
I will surely write here about the test and its outcome. So watch this space!

Too short to drive?

Today was the big day of the big exam. A test to how well have I learned to drive in the last five months and 25 lessons. Well the answer was not good enough.
I failed the test, I know my mistakes, the same mistakes that I was making in my lessons. The point which made the examiner's decision very easy was when I started to change a lane without looking properly while a car was coming form behind. A major blunder I know, which I made because I got distracted by my gears. That's why I have always been a fan of automatic cars, because I just hate changing gears.
Another sad part was that even though my parking skills are very good by now, when the examiner told me to find a spot to park I kind of panicked. I was taking too long to find a spot and when I did I couldn't park there properly.
I know that I can pass the exam if I try again. I know I need more practice. My instructor thinks I need to focus more, I don't know how I can focus more than I already do.
However, this was all normal and expected.
Now let me come to the unexpected and strange part of the exam.
The examiner was not an old man with glasses like I expected, it was a young woman. The first comment she made to me while I sat in the car was on my height. I told her that I have no problem driving the car and car reach the clutch and the break easily after adjusting my seat.

However, the examiner was not satisfied and took me to a special test to see if I can break hard enough to enable the ABS. She was again not satisfied at how I performed. I have never been taught to break hard and obviously was a bit hesitant in breaking with full power. However, the examiner looked at me and said “Is this all the power you have?”

After the exam she told me that she is putting me up for a special medical needs test because of my short height. My examiner politely suggested that I can just use an extra cushion on the driving seat, but obviously the examiner had other plans for me. 
I left the exam center in silence and shock. My instructor was surprised. He said he was quite curious to know what kind of a medical test I am going to have.
Can the CBR actually tell me that I am too short to drive or only able to drive certain kind of small cars. I wonder. And if they say I am fit to drive any car, then why the need to do this test in the first place?
I don't know whether to laugh on this matter or cry or scream. But again I am regretting my decision to try to get a driving license here in the Netherlands. One part of me wants to quit now, but the other part says that I have come too close to quit now. 
Let's wait and see.

I repeat - driving is hard

My driving test is in two days. I have been taking lessons since five months. Tomorrow, my last lesson before my first test would be my 25th.
Am I confident that I would pass? No!
Today's lesson was awful. Again a lesson that ended in tears. I understand that my instructor is being tough with me. He is preparing me for the worst, but that just makes me realize that I am not good enough for the test.
I always imagined that my final lessons before my test would be flawless. If today's lesson was my test I would have failed it in the first five minutes.
I want to be hopeful for my test, but I am getting the same feeling that I got before my first theory test - that I failed.
I would still try my best and see how it goes.
One thing is for sure - I picked the worse country to try to get a driving license.
Anyone planning to come to Netherlands - please have an international license before coming here, make sure they accept it, and if not invest in a good bakfiets (cycle with a back attachment) instead of wasting your time and money trying to get a driving license. 

My son, my friend

Moving to a new city and not speaking the language can seem like a daunting way to undertake a new beginning. For this Amsterdam Mama, learning the language and becoming pregnant opened up a new perspective on life in Amsterdam.

http://www.amsterdam-mamas.nl/stories/this-month/my-son-my-friend

As romantic as we may think of or imagine newly married life, it is not free from challenges. Challenges of adjustment, compromise and making a new start in general. When I got married I was met with the challenge of not only adjusting with a new person, but also with a totally new lifestyle in another part of the world. I had no friends there, and I felt that no one could truly understand how I felt.

Later, when I did manage to create a small life of my own there, a job, some friends with whom I would occasionally meet up or just keep in touch, I found myself saying goodbye to this country as well and landing in Amsterdam.

I never imagined living in a country where I didn’t even speak the language. For my first week here with zero knowledge of Dutch I felt deaf, dumb and blind. Learning the language was an essential for me. I always wanted to learn a new language anyways and this was the perfect scenario.

Things started to become easier as I joined my language school. I was meeting people regularly, and also learning and exploring new things every day. Amsterdam is beautiful and I enjoyed walking through this new city.

Still, my only friend was my solitude, until one day when I discovered there was a life growing inside me. From that day onwards I stopped feeling alone. Even when I walked alone I felt my baby walking with me. He was with me all the time, even while I slept. I looked forward to my baby being born. I remember once in an upset mood I was walking in a beautiful Amsterdam park when the thought of my baby made me smile. At that time I had thought that soon I will have a companion to share these walks with, a friend to talk to.

Now, with my toddler, I see my dreams coming true. We talk, we play, we go out and share every moment of our lives together. I enjoy going to cafes with him, put him in a high chair and we eat together, mother and son. We go to the park together, whether he is in his buggy or on foot, he is still with me.

Having a baby also magically increased my social circle. It introduced me to the wonderful community of Amsterdam Mamas, wherever everyone looks out for each other like a devoted family member.

Also after having this baby I felt better connected with my husband. My sparkling clean house feels like a messy home now and I love the feeling of graduating from a couple to a family.

I thank my God every day for blessing me with this baby, who has taken away my depression and made me complete. He adores me so much at this stage and sticks to me like a shadow, but I know it is not going to be like this forever. As he grows he will need his space. Still, I hope that we share a friendly and beautiful relationship forever. I imagine my son being my best friend in times to come and that is the best feeling ever.

Springy spring

My favourite time of the year is finally here. Its spring in Amsterdam! Lovely sunny days with a refreshing breeze provide a perfect time for a stroll or picnic in the parks.
I have always taken full advantage of the little sun we get in this country. This year too I hope to take Mr Baby out everyday to enjoy the lovely Amsterdam parks.
It is these months when Amsterdam's beauty is at its peak. Lush green trees, soft fresh grass, even the ducks in the many canals of the city look more cheerful in this weather.
We deserve this long awaited spring. May it have a long life!

pic by Samir Malik

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Driving is hard :(

My driving lesson today didn't go well at all. One would think that after so many lessons I should be able to drive perfectly by now. However, today's lesson was nothing near perfection. I got so disheartened that at the end of the lesson I was really holding back my tears, which were let out once my instructor couldn't see me anymore.
Back home S consoled me. "You are still learning, its okay to make mistakes" he said. Thanks S for all your support!
Later when I looked over my lesson with a cool mind I realized that yes, I did make some mistakes, but there were points where I did the right thing. Among my mistakes the biggest was a failed attempt of parallel parking and another failed attempt of reverse parking. However, parking is the hardest thing ever, so I should not worry about it that much. Other mistakes were a result of stress and confusion.
My instructor is leading me towards independent driving now, but I still have my ears open for his guidance, and when the guidance is not coming then panic mode is switched on.
My exam is booked for next month. I am not ready, but maybe with 6 or 7 more lessons I will be ready. However, the fact that each lesson is a dent in S's pocket is not helping my nerves. On top of that if I fail the test then the cost of another test alone is the price of 6 lessons.
I know that my focus should not be on money right now. It should be on learning and getting the licence and do this all with a positive attitude. Hopefully, my next lesson would not be such a disaster and I will have a nice post to write.
Till then, happy walking!

The dreaded theory test

Can you believe it that I took my first driving lesson in January and its May now. Its been four months since I am learning to drive, but honestly its just one hour per week, and sometimes one hour in two weeks. Its definitely not enough. Secondly, since I hadn't cleared my theory exam my driving instructor couldn't move forward and book my practical exam.
Well the theory exam turned out to be much more difficult than my expectations. I have done a theory test in England before, which I passed quite easily with a little bit of study. For the Dutch theory test I studied as if I was back doing my O Levels. I worked so hard, but, I failed. I wasn't even surprised because I didn't have much hope. Almost everyone I know failed on their first attempt. And then I met a girl who had failed for the third time.
That made me decide that I am not going to try my luck again. I decided to go for a one-day course with guaranteed success rates. I booked this course, where I was one of six other females eager to pass their theory exam.
By the end of the whole day course I was still not satisfied. They gave us a trial exam at the end of the day which almost all of us failed and that didn't really help in building up our confidence. Back home I had two more days till the test. Those two days I practiced every possible question available over and over again until they were stuck in my head.
Well luckily I did pass, only at margin. We are allowed 5 mistakes out of 40 and that's exactly how many I had. I dread to think that if I had just one more mistake I would have failed again and been completely devastated.
Thankfully, God didn't test my patience to that extent.
Now I have my driving theory in hand. I wanted to get my practical exam as soon as possible, but my driving school says that I would have to wait atleast a month till I find an available exam date.
O dear license why do you keep running away from me!

New hairstyle

Since a long time I have been wanting to get a new hairstyle. I researched a lot of hairdressers all over Amsterdam. Time and money constraints kept hindering me from actually trying out any of these salons.

I shortlisted two salons, which were cheap and hopefully good. One was the kappersacademie and the other graduates. In both these salons you basically get a haircut by a student or a new graduate, and hence the price is low.

However, this last Saturday I vowed to make time for myself and go for a haircut. By the time I got free from my driving lesson, kappersacademie was already closed. Graduates was too busy and offered me an appointment on some other day instead. I left thinking that no matter what I am not going home without a haircut today.
I decided I will just go to Cosmo. I have been there before and I didn't hate it. Didn't love it either. Price is reasonable according to Dutch standards. I went inside only to be met by a half asleep guy murmuring that they don't have time today. Sad and dejected, I decided to walk to the bus station. There was still half n hour for the bus to come so I decided to walk home. On my way I found a salon Hizihair with a big board outside saying 'welkom zonder afspraak' meaning Welcome without appointment. I glanced inside, it was empty. I stepped inside and a very nice lady with beautiful hair greeted me. I asked her if she had time for a haircut right now and she agreed. I had looked at their pricelist outside so I decided to sit hair and have a haircut. 

I started telling the stylist that I am looking for a new, fresh look. She asked me questions about my preferences which i didn't have any answer to. I was just looking for advice basically. So she took charge and noticed that the problem was my front hair. After giving birth to Mr Baby I had massive hair loss and thus I have lots of baby hair around my forehead now which are not easy to mane. She suggesting giving me a 'pony' (dutch for fringe). I have never had a fringe before, but I liked the idea. It would be a big change and that's what I wanted. I asked her for colour suggestions and she said that these days the fashion is to dye the ends of your hair only. I remembered seeing this on the kappersacademie website as well and instantly agreed to it. She asked me which colour I would want my ends to be and after looking at the model on the magazine in front of me i said red. 

Around an hour and a half later I saw in the mirror a lady with a fringe and red ends. I didn't recognize myself anymore. It was a bit of a shocker but it was a change and that's what I wanted. I decided I am not going to question my impulsiveness. 

The change was welcomed by family and friends and most of all by me. I felt good. Even though the red ends lasted only three weeks and the fringe requires maintenance I still make it an effort which gives good results. 

Childrens' story competition

Around two months back I participated in a story competition for children aged 1 to 3. The theme of the competition was 'New gender roles in the multicultural society'.
It was organised by Inclusive Works and its partners included British Council, Clavis Books, and FEBE support.
This week they announced their result in a small ceremony at Utrecht. All participating writers were invited. The number was around 300, but the attendees were a little less than 100 according to my estimation.
The competition was open to everyone. The story could be written in any language, as long as its English translation was sent along. This automatically made me assume that there would be a lot of contributions in different languages, and the ceremony would be English based to cater to the international audience.
However, my expectations turned out to be wrong as I found myself in a very Dutch environment. Both the winning stories were (one for the category of 1-3 years old, and the other for 4-6 years old) written by Dutch women, who were present at the ceremony.
I think that even though the project aimed at promoting multiculturalism, the Dutch jury did after all have a Dutch taste.
However, it was a nice purposeful effort, which I thoroughly enjoyed participating in and I hope these and other organisations continue with their endeavours.
http://www.inclusiveworks.eu/en-gb/ourexpertise/projects/childrensstories.aspx#.UUlyuRzFWVk

Baby at the window

My bedroom window, which started off as my best friend in the house has turned into my son's favourite spot as well. He stands there for ages looking out at all the passing by cars.
Thanks to the window his craze for outdoors is sort of fulfilled while staying indoors in this awful weather.
We are thinking of moving houses, but I love this area where we live. Wherever we go from here, I know that among other things I am going to miss my bedroom window a lot, and so is Mr Baby.

View from the window

Baby's first joy ride

Kermis is on this week in Osdorp, Amsterdam. I have been passing by it every day of the week longing to go inside and enjoy the joy rides, BUT, the weather has been awful! Snow, freezing cold, if I were to board a joy ride in this weather I would have become a popsicle for sure.

Anyways, luckily for us, today was not so cold, and no signs of rain or snow. I took this opportunity to walk to Kermis. 

My first stop was a ride for kids, the one which just goes round and round, I chose to sit him in a jeep. He hesitated a bit so I stood with him. For the first two rounds he had no idea what was going on, in the third round he started touching the wheel and enjoying the music a bit. After that the ride was over. 

Then I took him on a mini roller coaster ride with me. It was a very special moment for me, to take a joy ride with my son. He sat like a pro, holding the bars of the cart. And when it sped up a bit I was afraid he would get scared, but he just kept sitting confidently and I did hear him humming. 

S stood outside with the watchers, guarding the buggy. He didn't look half as excited as I was, well, to be perfectly honest he looked quite bored. So I asked him "Didn't you get excited to see him", and he replied "He wasn't doing anything exciting". I guess that's the difference between me and him. I take every moment of Mr Baby as very special. Everything he does for the first time gives me a weird kid of joy. Maybe because these are all things that I have imagined earlier in life doing with my children, and they are finally turning true. I couldn't be more thankful.