Baby loves BabyBjorn

We have discovered that our baby doesn't like being treated like a baby very much. He is not even four months old yet but he likes to be at our eye level and look around, rather than sit peacefully in his place like other babies his age do. Some days he is happy in his buggy, but some days it seems just too boring or tight for him, we can never figure out. He keeps crying as if something is wrong but as soon as we pick him up he is fine and begins his cute coos. Hence, the solution we thought of was to look into baby carriers.
It is unbelieavable how many different types and styles of baby carriers are available in the market. Unfortunately, you do not know which carrier would be best for both you and your baby unless you actually try them on. We made a big mistake by ordering a Tomy carrier online. When it came we found it very complicated to use, by the time the baby was actually strapped in he would be crying to get out already. Plus, it didn't suit my body structure and put a strain on my back.
I looked at other moms walking around comfortably with babies double the size of mine, and thought that there must be a carrier perfect for me as well. I began snooping around and found out so many new names - Ergo, Moby, BabyBjorn and many more.
That's not it, every brand then has many kinds of carriers - original, sporty, organic etc.
On review sites every parent states their own personal preference, advantages and disadvantages. I was saved by a new mom-friend I found, who offered me to try on her BabyBjorn Active carrier. Her baby is the same size as mine. I found it very easy to put on and quite comfortable, but the best thing about it was the baby loved it.
Hence, I set out on a mission to find a cheap, second hand BabyBjorn, since we had already wasted money on a brand new Tomy carrier, which apparently no one wants on Marktplaats.
Not too long after, I found a seller, for only 15 euros she was selling her BabyBjorn because her baby girl had outgrown it. I was happily ready to spend that money on it. So I bought it, tried it and having been using it since. Its a nice feeling to have your baby attached to you, and the baby is happy with his full view of the world. The only disadvantage I can think of is that because he is facing outwards I don't get to see his cute face anymore.

Fijne Moederdag (Happy Mother's Day)

Two months ago my mother-in-law was wished happy mother's day by her son in England. She was a bit disappointed that we didn't wish her the same, but we explained that its not Mother's Day in Netherlands yet.
Two days ago my mother texted me a pic of herself and my sister in a restaurant with the caption 'Celebrating Mother's Day'. I again replied back saying that it wasn't Mother's Day here yet.
Finally, today its Mother's Day in Netherlands. Though the preparations had begun weeks ago, today is the day to finally celebrate it. Every shop had advertised a special offer in relation with Mother's Day - discounted perfume and gift sets, spa vouchers, lunch and dinner treats, there are various ways in which you can make your mother feel special on this day.
Mother's Day stopped exciting me the year I was separated from my mother. I think the first year I did send her a card, but I can't remember if she recieved it or not. When I was with my mother I used to give her a little something on every occassion - Mother's Day, birthdays, anniversaries. Now my younger sister has taken over the duty of pampering our mother with gifts. I, on the other hand give her a gift only once a year when we meet, and that gift is supposed to compensate for all the missed occassions throughout the year.
This Mother's Day would have come and gone for me in the same way if I hadn't realised that now Mother's Day has a new meaning for me. From this year onwards I sit on the receiving end at Mother's Day too. Even though my son is too young to give me anything on this occassion, that doesn't stop me from wishing myself a Fijne Moederdag.

Baby goes to creche (Day 3)

Today was the third day that I took my baby to the creche. My comfort level on leaving him had increased, and to me, my baby seemed relaxed as well. When I waved him goodbye he gave me a small smile as if saying "I know you will be back, I'll be waiting". I was confident that today he would be fine and when I went back to pick him up my confidence proved correct. He was playing, a sight that made me even more relaxed. The care taker told me that he slept and ate good today. My baby has grown up :)
When we came back home I fed him, as he laid in my lap I noticed he was caressing my arm. It is his new sense of touch that he must have been exploring, but to me it felt like he was reassuring himself that I am back and showing me his love.

Baby goes to creche (day 2)

Yesterday was his second day at the creche. I was more organised this time, I woke up early, fed him, talked to him a little and then got him ready to leave. He looked at me with his cute puppy dog eyes when he sat in his buggy, saying "I wonder where mama is taking me so early in the morning". Seven minutes later we were at the creche, and I again saw a scared expression on his face. I handed him to the care taker and then talked to him a little bit. He passed me half a smile and then I was ready to leave.
This time I didn't feel as wierd as I felt the first time. I was much more relaxed. I paid more attention in class and happily went back to pick my baby up. However, my mood changed when I reached the creche. I saw my baby wrapped up in a sheet sleeping in a bouncer in the middle of the room with a little towel over his eyes. The care taker came to me and said he doesn't sleep in the bed "he searches for you". They said he didn't drink much either. I felt so sad for my baby. What am I doing?! This course isn't worth putting my child through so much pain. If he wants to be with mama then he should be with mama. I made up my mind, I am going to cancel the creche and the course can wait or end or whatever, nothing is more important than my baby.
I narrated all these dialogues in front of my husband, who said I was stupid. Somehow he tried to convince me that its only eight hours in a whole week that he is away from me. "So what if he cries, he cries at home too" he said. "Don't worry, he won't stay hugry, he will drink when he has to." I don't know how but I got convinced to give this creche thing some more time. Maybe he will get used to it, or maybe he will keep hating it till I finish my course. Again a motivation for me to study harder, and that's exactly what I am going to do now.
Signing off.

Broken sleep

For the first two months of his life my baby had an enviable sleeping pattern. I was one of those lucky parents whose children actually sleep at night and wake up for a feed only once or twice. I used to put him in his cot in his own room, and sleep peacefully for at least five, six hours straight.
However, since he reached his 3 month birthday my life story has completely changed. He still sleeps at night (thankfully) but only to wake up after every two hours. As an example last night he went to sleep at 9. Then waking up times were 11:30, 2:30, 4:30, 6:00 and then finally at 7 when he was fresh and ready to start his day.
When he first started waking up more often at night I thought something was wrong with him. Stomach ache? Teething? Growth spurt? We were considering everything. I kept reading and asking the possible causes and soluutions to this damaged sleeping pattern. Since getting up from bed every two hours and going to the other room was getting too tiring I decided the baby should sleep next to me for some relief. Still, not used to this new regime I was greatly sleep deprived, compensating for my lost sleep on the weekends, when hubby was kind enough to look after him.
I tried everything from evening baths to top up bottle feeds, but now I have given up. I have realised that no matter what I do he will sleep and wake as he wills. The most I can do is hope this is just a phase he will soon grow out of, and by that time I would just get used to this broken sleep.

Back to school

In my previous post I did mention that I have rejoined my Dutch language course, but the post focused on how I felt being separated from my baby. In principle I should hate this course, which is keeping my baby away from me, but truthfully I don't hate it, infact I quite like it. This is a time where I am exercising my brain to learn new things, a new language, I constantly struggle to think hard about each and every word, and I enjoy it. I take this as an exercise in preventing my brain cells from getting rusty.
It was greatly encouraging to notice that I hadn't forgotten my Dutch in my four month leave. I was still on the same level as I left, which means that if I keep up learning, very soon I might be able to write a whole blog post in Dutch! My inspiration for working even harder now is to finish my course as soon as possible and get back full time custody of my baby.
Sucess (good luck) to me!

Baby goes to creche

As I restart my Dutch language course I was forced to make arrangements for childcare. Unfortunately, living alone in the Netherlands without any family or friends meant that my baby had to go to professionals. Before he was born, I was very comfortable with the idea of leaving him in a daycare, but once I had to do it, I wondered how mothers gather up the courage of leaving their babies in the hands of complete strangers.
I was clueless as to where and how to start this whole daycare business, but my problem was solved by Chikuba. It is an official agency that helps you find daycare and make all the necessary arrangements for it. Since I am not working and am following a Dutch language course through the gementee, I am entitled to subsidised daycare. That meant that I ended up paying only 1/6th of the total cost. It is still alot considering the baby needs daycare for only half a day while I am at school, but their policy requires payment for a whole day, even if the child stays there for only an hour.
My baby now goes to Caleido Kidzz. It is right next to my house, an apparently nice place with some nice ladies. This Friday morning I got up made some quick lunch for myself dressed up and then looked at my baby. Poor thing was sleeping peacefully, but I had to pick him up to change his diaper. I hated myself for disrupting his sleep, but as I began to unbutton him he did his usuals squirms and then opened his eyes to smile at me. I put on his jacket and put him in his buggy and off we went. He was very silent, probably confused as to where we are going so early in the morning. We entered the creche, I took off his jacket and then handed my baby over to the caretaker. He looked even more confused now, other babies came to greet him, and he stared at them with his big eyes. I stood by the door staring at him, I could stand there all day, but I had to go. So I bade farewell and walked out. From now till four hours I will have no idea what my baby does.
As I walked out of the creche I felt wierd, I wasn't pushing a buggy, rather swinging my arms on the side. I was looking around rather than looking at the cute face of my baby in front of me. When I entered the tram I was not confined to the buggy area, rahter I went inside and stood with all baby-less people. I approached my school realising that I had carried my baby to the school with me for eight months, and now I am going to school alone.
At school I could just not get my baby's face out of my head, the face that I left in the creche. In my break I called to find out how he was doing, they said he was asleep which calmed me down a bit. He was my only topic of conversation with my classfellows. The last half hour in school I kept looking at the watch of my classfellow
sitting opposite me. As soon as the lesson was over I walked at my maximum speed towards the creche. I opened the door and there he was, my baby. I couldn't stop kissing him. We came home cuddled and slept together for two hours. I just hope he didn't miss me as much as I missed him.

The perfect bike

Impressed by the Dutch cycling culture, my husband was determined to make cycling a usual habit when we came here, a year and a half ago. He already had a cycle, which he used for the first couple of months, until it had a problem with its pedal. "I think its time I buy a new bike." So, out he went on a bike search and came back shocked at the high prices of cycles in Netherlands. Even though cycles are the most common household items here, they are not cheap at all.
Hence, my husband bought a second hand mountain bike from one of his colleagues. It looked super cool, but we soon realised why his colleague wanted to get rid of it. If you want to ride a bike in the city, you don't want a mountain bike. What you want is a typical dutch bike with a large frame and large wheels, which doesn't look trendy or modern, but is just right.
My husband sold the mountain bike on marktplaats (another very important discovery we made, the local ebay), and ordered another one from there. This time again he was conned into buying something that was not worth it. That bike got returned and the search for the perfect bike continued.
When the perfect bike was found and bought, all he needed was the perfect weather to start cycling to work. But every morning as he referred to my technique of looking at the bedroom window to judge the weather outside, he would be disappointed. Netherlands would always be windy and rainy, and only true Dutch people can cycle in this kind of weather, the rest of us will just keep waiting for the perfect day.

Crazy weather of Netherlands

Yesterday morning my bedroom window gave me a good news. I didn't even have to open the curtains to judge the weather outside, as rays of bright sunshine passed through my thin curtains to wake me up. Koninginnedag brought along a lovely weather to Netherlands. It was the first time I took my baby outside without any jacket or sweater, and my husband was sweating even in his cotton shirt. I associated high hopes for the coming week, thinking how good it would be if the weather continues to be like this.
However, my joy was extremely short lived, as this morning I was woken up by a huge thunder. Rain poured down all my dreams of enjoying the nice weather.
Today I will again have to go out with jackets and rain coats. :(